Self Love

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When something bothers me it’s hard to get it off my mind. I have to talk about it with the people closest to me.  I enjoy and  value social media in the way that it gives everyone the opportunity to express themselves, the same way I feel about fashion. Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate people’s intentions, however.  When you look through the filters and the captions, is the real person behind all of it?

 

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Staying genuine to who I really am is important to me, but I’m sure I could be perceived differently than that because perception is subjective. And being an influencer is also important to me, but the message I want to convey is not be like me, but find yourself and how beautiful it is to be original and unique.  Self love is often the hardest to find, I speak from experience. I see and have seen so many people I love in my life go through the same struggle and it is one that never actually ends.

 

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I love inspiring people. Outside of the cyber world I talk about my clothes, give advice to my loved ones and try to live my best life. I never want that to end, I feel it’s part of my purpose here.

 

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I am wearing Zara shorts, F21 duster and H&M booties

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ballin’ on a Budget

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Wearing Free People jumpsuit, Steve Madden shoes

 

When I envision myself, this is what I see.  Maybe the years of running through open fields in summer dresses with my sister has something to do with that, or maybe it’s my fascination with Vogue spreads, who knows. But, when I try something on or see it hanging delectably off of a mannequin, I imagine myself in all my femininity running through a field one with myself and nature.

As I said before, almost everything in my closet has a story.  This one has been told countless times to all my friends and family due to my sheer excitement and dire need to own this jumpsuit.

I first saw it in a window at Lord and Taylor and was immediately drawn to it, Megan even pointed it out to me.  Weeks had gone by and we had to head to the mall to get some last minute things for our trip to Florida when I saw it there again, still in the window.  I stopped to check the price, and knew it was not going to fit in my budget. It stayed on my mind though and when I had to go back yet again to pick something up, it was gone.

  Now I was panicked like I lost my chance. I went and found it, the very last one and it was marked down! I tried it on and needed it desperately so I put it on hold.

Two days before I had to leave I went back one final time, money in hand. The associate told me it had been put back on the floor after markdowns were taken, and me, devastated, would not believe this could be true! Having worked retail for so long I knew that it had to be on a rolling rod somewhere in the back so a merchandiser could take the markdowns.  I pleaded with the girl to please check one more time since I was leaving for vacation in a matter of hours.  She did. As she walked over to me, jumpsuit in hand, I was elated.  Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better she rang it up revealing it had received another markdown going from $148 to $78 to now $37. That’s when I knew it was meant to be mine.

Stop and Smell the Wildflowers

Since being home from a really nice and long overdue break, it has been difficult to adjust back to my old routine.  Honestly I hate routines although some things require it such as, good hygiene, sleep and exercise, I loved having the stimulation of being somewhere new and experiencing a different wave of energy.

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Ever since I was a young girl I have always had a fascination with flowers and plants.  I loved gardening and picking bouquets of wildflowers to keep on my nightstand.  My sister and I would catch butterflies in the horse pastures and release them into my bedroom to flutter around for the day then return them back to the wild.

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When I came home from Florida I had a lot of new energy and ideas with me, I felt like I was in a really good mental space.  Like I was saying earlier breaking the routine is so important to me. After a while I began to lose sight and made plans just to get through each day or each week resulting in tunnel vision.

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I am happy to be home with my animals and my own comfy bed, that is always a plus.  But I am also inspired to get out and do more.  I want to make the rest of this year an adventure since I spent the first six months recovering from a major surgery, not that that wasn’t an adventure in and of itself. I had to hustle to make ends meet while also being physically impaired. I’ll share more on that and my dog-walking adventures soon.

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During my hustle to make ends meet, I wasn’t always able to freshen my wardrobe.  I’ve become creative with recycling old outfits and even borrowing from family to liven up some tired pieces.  This maxi skirt is from Marshall’s circa 2013 roughly. I gave it to my mom when I couldn’t find ways to wear it anymore. I saw it recently in her wardrobe and it popped out at me telling me to take it! The sweater and the bralette were part of my buying frenzy as a manager at Macy’s, they have also been laying around wanting some wear.

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I get a lot of my style inspiration from other style blogs, my friends and people walking by.  I saw a picture of Karlie Kloss wearing a maxi skirt with a long sleeve tee and white sneakers on her Instagram and loved it, that is how this look was born with a little bit of my own countryside style.

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Wearing BCBGeneration top, Free People bralette, Maxi skirt is from Marshalls

 

 

Florida Part IV

 Our last day in Florida was honestly one of the most entertaining experiences I’ve ever had. All of us went on a 20 person charter to try our hand at deep sea fishing.  I was so hesitant at first because I was intimidated by going out onto the ocean.  I grew up on boats but only ever went to our local lakes.  Lately in my life, I’ve learned to embrace the thrill of doing things that frighten me a little.

We climbed onto the boat and cruised down the windy channels that brought us out to sea. The skies were heavy and grey, which is actually perfect for fishing. The crew gave us instructions whilst slicing up bait for the chum buckets.  It was shocking in the way that I really wasn’t prepared for what I saw. We each learned how to bait our hooks and drop our lines.  I jumped right in.

Boom. After minutes of having our lines dropped, swaying in the waves a few miles away from the shore we started catching fish! They were bright and colorful, not what I expected at all.  It was a whirlwind to see what we caught. The build up of feeling something grab at your line, then having to reel it in with all your might was exhilarating.

With plenty of help from each other and the crew, our group caught a total of 21 fish.  We released most of them back to the ocean due to size and species restrictions.  Megan caught a puffer fish, which is pretty rare to pull out of the water like that. The crew member sat down and let us take a closer look before releasing him back to the sea.

Tony was one of the crew members, he helped unhook our catch and measure to see if they met the specs.

We got to take home 5 of our fish after they prepped them for us.  We marinated and grilled them for dinner that night, and it was honestly so delicious and fresh. Even if we hadn’t caught anything, and our intention wasn’t to bring something home.  The experience of being out on the water, all of us laughing and squealing with excitement was worth it. I was sad our week was coming to a close, this time away from everything familiar to me helped me expand my mind and learn to love and accept the place i am in in my life.  I could have shared so much more, and I’m sure I will as time goes on, but I hold onto all of the new memories I created, whether or not a camera was present.

Escape to Yaddo

Never take for granted the places just beyond your backyard. The gardens at Yaddo have become one of my favorite places to visit when I need to have a date with my mind or some peace from everyday stressors. Originally a home to the Trask family, they decided to dedicate the property to artists and creative minds.  Although the public is allowed to visit the gardens, admission to the mansion and residency is only open to artists, writers, photographers, composers and choreographers who must go through an application process.

A home for the mind to simply be itself; free and open to all possibilities outside of the realms we are taught.  A place so close to me dedicated to art and beauty that I have the privilege of visiting and riding its energetic wave will not be taken for granted. And although I may complain about being here in Upstate New York, I always remind myself of the many redeeming qualities that are just beyond my door.

Wearing Free People dress and Modern Vice boots

I encourage anyone who loves the outdoors, the arts, and travel to visit their website to learn more about Yaddo’s history and its artists here.

Sk-nek-ta-dee (Schenectady)

At golden hour I was compelled to drive to the new city on the Mohawk River in Schenectady. I had been visiting the site since it was a construction ghost town and couldn’t wait for it to come alive.

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 All this new energy draws me in like a moth to the light.  I took these pictures of the empty stores, some of which have been claimed by businesses, but most are empty and unfinished. I love the anticipation of something new.

IMG_3909I’m excited for a new restaurant in particular, Druther’s, which is a small brewing company started in Saratoga, New York and has now opened their third location here on the Harbor.  Since my birthday is a couple days away I figured this would be the spot to grab a celebratory dinner and drinks.

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IMG_3961Everything that is grand reminds me of  New York City.  I mentioned in my post “On the Pier” my favorite spot, The Boat Basin, which was a marina and restaurant right on the Hudson River. I brought anyone who visited me to that spot and rode bikes on the Hudson River Greenway to get there, so the new Mohawk Harbor already feels like a piece of home to me with so many familiarities. Also, Schenectady has a brand new train station just a few hours from my beloved NYC.

Something New

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Wearing Free People sweater under BCBGeneration dress with Frye boots

As things change in my life whether they are unexpected or even possibly for the better, it is always a shocking reminder that life is not necessarily in my control.  Having moved back to my dreamy little farm in upstate New York, I do miss the livelihood of the city and the ever changing faces around me. Learning how to embrace change still presents a challenge to me.  I love it don’t get me wrong, I crave it honestly but I still struggle because although I may see into what is changing, I can never truly predict the future.

Since I love change so much I thought I needed a drastic change and got my hair cut.  I used to have bangs when I was a pre-teen and hated them.  Now, at 26 I love myself a lot more and embrace how my body, face and hair have changed over the years. I feel like a new person and I can still kind of see that little girl deep inside learning to love herself too.

Winter here has been so mild it doesn’t actually feel like winter.  Today marks the ten year anniversary of when I brought my horse, Hunter, home.  I remember how snowy and icy it was then and now I’m wearing a thick sweater and tights, barely feeling the elements. I’m not complaining but I do hope it snows before the holidays.

This Morning

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 Wearing Free People denim | Macy’s cold shoulder sweater | K2 beanie

My everyday uniform for as long as I can remember is ripped jeans, a light sweater and vest, rain boots and a beanie. Having grown up on a farm since I was five, I’ve learned to dress in a versitile way and in a way where I didn’t mind getting a little dirty. Whether it’s sunny or rainy a good pair of rain boots, or any boot for that matter, is necessary. 

The last few weeks have gifted the northeast with some really beautiful weather and not to mention the leaves have peaked with vibrant foliage right in my backyard. Each morning I look out as I’m having my coffee and just bask at how picturesque the landscape is, so this morning I decided I would take Hunter out to graze on the lush grass before winter starts to creep in. I love spending time with him as he quietly munches, the wind brushes through the grass and the birds welcome the beginning of the day.  This December will mark 10 years since the day I brought him home. I found him totally by chance, but I knew when I saw him he was meant to come home with me. 

 

Red Walls and Warm Temps

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Wearing Vintage Levis jacket | Truly Madly Deeply top | BCBG skirt | Steve Madden mules 

The weather has been unseasonably warm here in upstate New York. Usually around this time of year I’m wearing the a coat, so to be bare-legged and feel comfortably warm is beyond ordinary.  Keeping a light denim jacket by my side is perfect for when the sun goes down and the temperatures begin to drop again. I snagged this Levi’s jacket in New York City at a flea market. I just could not pass it up; I tend to find the best things when I’m not really looking.

For now, I’m happy to soak up the sun and swim in the colors of fall on this sunny Sunday afternoon.

Cloudy Florals


Wearing Zara dress | Vince Camuto boots

Grey with clouds, the melancholy of autumn is seeping in. The weather is warm with the memory of summer, the trees more and more bare, a foreshadow of winter. Always in transition, I love this time of year.