The ultimate cliche–gone back to my roots. Watching movies where the character seems to have lost it all, they return to where it all began. In that process the realization sets in that what was once lost has been there the whole time. Living in that cliche I’ve learned the core of your being stays the same, no one can take away experiences, your love for people and the things that created you.
My life is in constant motion, the sun rises and the sun sets and not a single person can stop that. Anxiety provoking? Yes. However, it can be therapuetic in way knowing the current situation won’t stay as it is as long as I keep waking and resting with the rest of the world. Opportunities keep yeilding themselves to me, and every one I take I learn something new. I am grateful for what is yet to come and for all that I’ve had.
I’m en route to New York City as we speak to add another experience under my belt, Coterie. A global event really, the mission: to present and sell spring 2019 of various designers to retailers around the world.
Wearing Zara hat and dress, Coach boots
I do this for myself. I create my own canvas.
For years I’ve struggled with feeling like I had to choose between two versions of me. Raised on a small farm secluded from the neighborhood kids I developed a strong bond to myself and my family. I learned about who I was from a very young age because I spent a lot of my time alone with my thoughts.
Fast forward to now and I can tell you a piece of me remains that way, however, I crave the stimulation of a buzzing city, art and creativity. I long for diversity and variety in people and places. When I am in the city I miss the farm and solitude and when I am in upstate New York I miss the stimulation. I’m learning how to find that balance and blend my two worlds together.
I love capturing the contrast and really sitting with it. Officially knee deep in my mid-twenties I have learned to love myself even more and found ways to express my creativity and truest nature. I feel that many people in my position are still struggling to find that truth bogged down by the pressures of society. College may have given us the diploma, but where do we go from here? How does the self fit into this new landscape yielding to us? And so I turn to things like photography, writing and fashion to give myself the outlet not provided to me, reestablishing my genuine thoughts, my raw creativity.
Wearing Michael Kors romper, vintage 1980’s belt, H&M boots
Wearing Free People jumpsuit, Steve Madden shoes
When I envision myself, this is what I see. Maybe the years of running through open fields in summer dresses with my sister has something to do with that, or maybe it’s my fascination with Vogue spreads, who knows. But, when I try something on or see it hanging delectably off of a mannequin, I imagine myself in all my femininity running through a field one with myself and nature.
As I said before, almost everything in my closet has a story. This one has been told countless times to all my friends and family due to my sheer excitement and dire need to own this jumpsuit.
I first saw it in a window at Lord and Taylor and was immediately drawn to it, Megan even pointed it out to me. Weeks had gone by and we had to head to the mall to get some last minute things for our trip to Florida when I saw it there again, still in the window. I stopped to check the price, and knew it was not going to fit in my budget. It stayed on my mind though and when I had to go back yet again to pick something up, it was gone.
Now I was panicked like I lost my chance. I went and found it, the very last one and it was marked down! I tried it on and needed it desperately so I put it on hold.
Two days before I had to leave I went back one final time, money in hand. The associate told me it had been put back on the floor after markdowns were taken, and me, devastated, would not believe this could be true! Having worked retail for so long I knew that it had to be on a rolling rod somewhere in the back so a merchandiser could take the markdowns. I pleaded with the girl to please check one more time since I was leaving for vacation in a matter of hours. She did. As she walked over to me, jumpsuit in hand, I was elated. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better she rang it up revealing it had received another markdown going from $148 to $78 to now $37. That’s when I knew it was meant to be mine.
Two things to know about me are one, I do not own a full length mirror and two, I always take advantage of good lighting.
Having dinner plans with an old friend forced me out of my t-shirt and yoga pants I had been hanging out in all day due to the plague I finally kicked. I’ve been on a pretty tight budget the last several months and couldn’t really afford to buy anything new. I love to retire things from my wardrobe for a while in anticipation that they will breathe new life again one day.
I bought these pants a couple years ago. They are the most comfortable pants I have ever worn and can hide any food baby or bloated belly without making me feel constricted (perfect for grabbing dinner in). I thrifted this little cut off charmeuse top from Buffalo Exchange a handful of years ago. It was my virgin trip to the second hand boutique in Brooklyn and have been a frequent shopper ever since.
SO, I guess you could say I am not the type of person to give something a toss if I haven’t worn it in a year. I grow attached to my clothes and think of them as little treasures that carry many backstories as to how they got into my possession. And in times of needing to feel fresh and new I know I have an archive I can head to first.
I love feeling comfortable and tend to go to layering my basics to add some detail to a pretty simple outfit.
Wearing BCBGeneration pants, top is thrifted from Buffalo Exchange
Since being home from a really nice and long overdue break, it has been difficult to adjust back to my old routine. Honestly I hate routines although some things require it such as, good hygiene, sleep and exercise, I loved having the stimulation of being somewhere new and experiencing a different wave of energy.
Ever since I was a young girl I have always had a fascination with flowers and plants. I loved gardening and picking bouquets of wildflowers to keep on my nightstand. My sister and I would catch butterflies in the horse pastures and release them into my bedroom to flutter around for the day then return them back to the wild.
When I came home from Florida I had a lot of new energy and ideas with me, I felt like I was in a really good mental space. Like I was saying earlier breaking the routine is so important to me. After a while I began to lose sight and made plans just to get through each day or each week resulting in tunnel vision.
I am happy to be home with my animals and my own comfy bed, that is always a plus. But I am also inspired to get out and do more. I want to make the rest of this year an adventure since I spent the first six months recovering from a major surgery, not that that wasn’t an adventure in and of itself. I had to hustle to make ends meet while also being physically impaired. I’ll share more on that and my dog-walking adventures soon.
During my hustle to make ends meet, I wasn’t always able to freshen my wardrobe. I’ve become creative with recycling old outfits and even borrowing from family to liven up some tired pieces. This maxi skirt is from Marshall’s circa 2013 roughly. I gave it to my mom when I couldn’t find ways to wear it anymore. I saw it recently in her wardrobe and it popped out at me telling me to take it! The sweater and the bralette were part of my buying frenzy as a manager at Macy’s, they have also been laying around wanting some wear.
I get a lot of my style inspiration from other style blogs, my friends and people walking by. I saw a picture of Karlie Kloss wearing a maxi skirt with a long sleeve tee and white sneakers on her Instagram and loved it, that is how this look was born with a little bit of my own countryside style.
Wearing BCBGeneration top, Free People bralette, Maxi skirt is from Marshalls
On the mend from a severe sinus infection and bronchitis, I am finally getting around to putting together a post about my week in Florida with some of my family. I’m going to break it up into parts because there is so much to take in. Florida has only given me good experiences such as, going to Disney World with my mom and my sister in 2013. It was so much fun especially as adults plus, it was my first time on a plane (so crazy I know). Then in 2014 I was invited to a round of interviews in Miami for the Macy’s Executive Development Program and ended up being offered a job prior to my college graduation (a major milestone in my life, my dad also came with).
The last several years have been a constant transition in my life and the lives of my family members as well. It has been a dream of my dad’s to take his kids on vacation with our blended family. It took us a long time to get to this place but I feel that I am so blessed to see my family on both sides in a much better place than where we were in the past. Anyway, I also got to share this trip with my girlfriend, we had an amazing time with so many new memories to cherish. She is an official survivor of a Portuguese Man O’ War sting and I got to ring the siren in the ambulance (not as funny at the time).
My Dad rented the most adorable house literally on the ocean. It was so quaint, clean and beachy. Megan and I got the best room in the house too, we had a private upstairs suite with a balcony and ocean views.
The first morning we had our coffee on the balcony taking in all the beauty around us. I’ve never had the experience of almost feeling like I lived somewhere so tropical. Having our own little sanctuary was exactly what we needed to break away from the grind and monotony of everyday back home. Not that it’s a bad thing but it is so refreshing to be around something new and beautiful.
The backyard was so sanctimonious. The palms, aloe plants, and wild flowers were all the things I could fantasize about when I think of anywhere tropical. And of course I needed an impromptu photoshoot with the local flora. All these pics were surprisingly taken on an iphone X via Megan.
wearing Ella Moss one piece swimsuit, BCBGeneration duster, H&M hat and sunnies