90’s Child

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27. That is where I am today. Born in 1991 this dress may possibly be as old as me. I was given the task of helping my mom clean out her closet a few weeks ago and saw this gem. The 90’s were cool but I was a child of many fashion disasters, like those little floral dresses with the weird built-in bibs (anyone know what I’m talking about here?).

My headshot circa 1995

 

Also, I had bangs…with curly hair…I love my parents but why the bangs? They always stuck up like I had horns because my hair curled on the top of my forehead. But I’ve survived all of that and even took the risk this last year of cutting my hair shoulder length and that’s working out too.

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This last year of my life was pretty amazing, I was living in New York City working in fashion wholesale and had a studio apartment in Harlem with my girlfriend. We adopted two kitties from the ASPCA and shared so many memories as a little family.  I’ve said in previous posts (24, Seven Ten) that my birthday is an important day for me. I like to reflect on the changes in myself; my growth, my opportunities and all of the things I have accomplished.  Each year is a milestone to me and learning how to tell people my new age is like writing 2014 on a form at the doctor’s office but hello its now 2018 how could I be lost in time?! Anyway, my goal for this year is to do the things I say I want to do.

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I had six months off from life after I had shoulder surgery. I needed time off of work because the recovery process is long and brutal and that gave me a lot of time to myself, maybe a little too much time. Now I’m back to work and working through life lessons that no one really prepares us for, but our parents warn us about from their own life experiences. The amount of love and support I have received from my loved ones and my friends has been that guiding light for me and now that today is officially six months post-op (I picked January 10th on purpose knowing my freedom date would be my birthday) I can now ride my horse again and do all the fun activities I love to do like a true Upstate New Yorker. This year will be a good year like every other year has been, and I’m also aware that there may be some struggles in my future and I’m ok with that because with every struggle comes a strength.

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Wearing vintage Ulterior Motives dress and Nine West sandals

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Field of Dreams

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Wearing : Guess trench coat | H&M mini dress | Modern Vice boots

I love finding new brands that jog my imagination. I discovered Modern Vice boots at a women’s lifestyle event in New York City. The moment I walked into the venue my eyes cast upon these boots and was swept off my feet. I tried them on, and vowed to myself I would buy a pair as soon as I responsibly could.  I took a business card that day and months later had realized I was working in a showroom across the street.  I stopped in and got a tour of the factory and their entire showroom, needless to say I was in heaven, boot heaven. I decided on these boots which were custom made for me. Four weeks later, I got to take them home.

There’s a beauty to sharing the same passion with people, riding a wave of creative energy not knowing where it will go but continually portraying its essence in whatever way we can.

Cloudy Florals


Wearing Zara dress | Vince Camuto boots

Grey with clouds, the melancholy of autumn is seeping in. The weather is warm with the memory of summer, the trees more and more bare, a foreshadow of winter. Always in transition, I love this time of year.

Highs and Lows

Wearing Zara at the Chelsea Piers

Name a dream that you had that came true. I remember when I was 10 I wished for an orange kitten and what do you know, after my 11 birthday me and my sister each got to pick a kitten, dad was mad but who can resist two curly-headed daughters with hopeful tears in their eyes when the hay farmer says he’s got kittens.

I felt like I had a power in me from a young age to get what I desired, if I put my mind to it. I got into the college I had always dreamed of, the most beautiful horse I had ever seen was all mine. One thing for certain is those events did not happen like some fairytale, I worked so hard to get into FIT and had a lot of hardships and turns in the road. And that horse I got? He was dumped at an auction unloved by his previous owner. The moment I met him he was angry and struck the wall when I said hello. We have an amazing connection now, he gave me the world and now I leave him behind on my family farm to grasp another dream, to live in New York City.

I tend to seek water when I’m in need of reflecting on my thoughts. This week has been a week of highs and lows, quite literally.  The weather did that whole let’s change seasons in twenty-four hours thing again. It was 65 degrees and then just like that we snapped back to subzero temperatures. The water is peaceful, vast, ever-changing; like life. The fluidity helps me to understand the drastic changes that can happen in the span of a week, like a promotion at work (I’m so excited) and helping someone find their dog who ran away. Everything in life is relevant to what you seek.

 

 

Cattails and Hidden Trails

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One great thing about living in upstate New York is that there are many hidden trails and secret spots where you can melt into the world.  I drove by this nature trail countless times and truly had no idea what was beyond the gravel parking lot and the large sign hidden in the shadows.  Then came a day where I was spontaneously invited onto its path and was completely enamored.  I loved the small wooden boardwalk which seemed lonely, but also warm and curious.  The cattails teetering in the wind pulled me down the trail and every corner I turned was new, yet familiar.

Another great thing is this dress.  I was in such a rush to find something light and summery, but also slightly sophisticated.  The long sleeves and the dainty florals are what grabbed me initially, and then the open back and the criss-cross detail completely sold me.  I love a great find when I least expect it.

Dress: Forever21 | Shoes: Converse

 

 

Seven Ten

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And so the cycle of life continues, and the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I am in disbelief as to how quickly the last year went by and I can definitely say twenty four was a big year for me.  As young as I am there is something quite fearful about aging, which has mostly been drilled into my brain through society’s norms and illusions. But what really gets me is the fact that every year I turn another year older and I don’t feel much different from the last. The subtle changes are barely noticable, however, being twenty five feels incredibly different from being nineteen, I can see and feel those differences in retrospect.  And as I become older, I hold more appreciation for the little things and the important things in life.

I woke up yesterday and I was twenty five. I can vividly remember many memories as if they happened yesterday which makes the process feel both insanely fast and surpisingly slow.  I like this year so far, I have a lot to learn and much to  experience.  Plus when you add two plus five it equals seven.  Lucky number seven.

Dress: Rachel Roy | Belt: Urban Outfitters | Shoes: Forever 21