90’s Child

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27. That is where I am today. Born in 1991 this dress may possibly be as old as me. I was given the task of helping my mom clean out her closet a few weeks ago and saw this gem. The 90’s were cool but I was a child of many fashion disasters, like those little floral dresses with the weird built-in bibs (anyone know what I’m talking about here?).

My headshot circa 1995

 

Also, I had bangs…with curly hair…I love my parents but why the bangs? They always stuck up like I had horns because my hair curled on the top of my forehead. But I’ve survived all of that and even took the risk this last year of cutting my hair shoulder length and that’s working out too.

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This last year of my life was pretty amazing, I was living in New York City working in fashion wholesale and had a studio apartment in Harlem with my girlfriend. We adopted two kitties from the ASPCA and shared so many memories as a little family.  I’ve said in previous posts (24, Seven Ten) that my birthday is an important day for me. I like to reflect on the changes in myself; my growth, my opportunities and all of the things I have accomplished.  Each year is a milestone to me and learning how to tell people my new age is like writing 2014 on a form at the doctor’s office but hello its now 2018 how could I be lost in time?! Anyway, my goal for this year is to do the things I say I want to do.

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I had six months off from life after I had shoulder surgery. I needed time off of work because the recovery process is long and brutal and that gave me a lot of time to myself, maybe a little too much time. Now I’m back to work and working through life lessons that no one really prepares us for, but our parents warn us about from their own life experiences. The amount of love and support I have received from my loved ones and my friends has been that guiding light for me and now that today is officially six months post-op (I picked January 10th on purpose knowing my freedom date would be my birthday) I can now ride my horse again and do all the fun activities I love to do like a true Upstate New Yorker. This year will be a good year like every other year has been, and I’m also aware that there may be some struggles in my future and I’m ok with that because with every struggle comes a strength.

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Wearing vintage Ulterior Motives dress and Nine West sandals

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Field of Dreams

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Wearing : Guess trench coat | H&M mini dress | Modern Vice boots

I love finding new brands that jog my imagination. I discovered Modern Vice boots at a women’s lifestyle event in New York City. The moment I walked into the venue my eyes cast upon these boots and was swept off my feet. I tried them on, and vowed to myself I would buy a pair as soon as I responsibly could.  I took a business card that day and months later had realized I was working in a showroom across the street.  I stopped in and got a tour of the factory and their entire showroom, needless to say I was in heaven, boot heaven. I decided on these boots which were custom made for me. Four weeks later, I got to take them home.

There’s a beauty to sharing the same passion with people, riding a wave of creative energy not knowing where it will go but continually portraying its essence in whatever way we can.

A Walk on the Wild Side

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Dress: Free People

This is my time. Time to take risks, make life changing decisions and teeter on the edge of responsibility and spontaneity. I decided I want to move to New York and BOOM I was there. I was terrified and excited but I was there. I got a good job that noticed my hard work and promoted me quickly but still something was missing. And now an amazing opportunity has unveiled itself to me and I have nothing to do but take it. From a young age both of my parents told me to become the person I desired to be, that my dreams are never too big.  One thing that I’ve learned is to take what life gives me and adapt because it just keeps going and not that I could ever be left behind, but I could be left with my own blocks and fears. Being in my twenties has really pushed me to develop myself and to create a world in which I would want to live. What I don’t want is to wake up someday and say ‘I wish I did that.’  I always have faith, and present what it is that I truly want on a day to day basis, and if you haven’t experienced it yet, postivity attracts even more positivity.  And be sure to surround yourself with people who believe in you and support you no matter what.  They are the poeple who don’t think you’re silly if you want to take pictures in a field with your wine glass, they join in.

Highs and Lows

Wearing Zara at the Chelsea Piers

Name a dream that you had that came true. I remember when I was 10 I wished for an orange kitten and what do you know, after my 11 birthday me and my sister each got to pick a kitten, dad was mad but who can resist two curly-headed daughters with hopeful tears in their eyes when the hay farmer says he’s got kittens.

I felt like I had a power in me from a young age to get what I desired, if I put my mind to it. I got into the college I had always dreamed of, the most beautiful horse I had ever seen was all mine. One thing for certain is those events did not happen like some fairytale, I worked so hard to get into FIT and had a lot of hardships and turns in the road. And that horse I got? He was dumped at an auction unloved by his previous owner. The moment I met him he was angry and struck the wall when I said hello. We have an amazing connection now, he gave me the world and now I leave him behind on my family farm to grasp another dream, to live in New York City.

I tend to seek water when I’m in need of reflecting on my thoughts. This week has been a week of highs and lows, quite literally.  The weather did that whole let’s change seasons in twenty-four hours thing again. It was 65 degrees and then just like that we snapped back to subzero temperatures. The water is peaceful, vast, ever-changing; like life. The fluidity helps me to understand the drastic changes that can happen in the span of a week, like a promotion at work (I’m so excited) and helping someone find their dog who ran away. Everything in life is relevant to what you seek.

 

 

Objects May Be Farther Than They Appear

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When walking in New York City, sky scrapers like The Freedom Tower or The Empire State Building seem like a short distance away but in reality they are miles from where you are standing. And not knowing exactly how to get there you feel like you could almost leap across the city and end up right where you wanted to be.  This isn’t possible though, there is a path that must be traveled, and depending on what chaos may be going on, the path could change abruptly and then the journey is longer than you thought it would be.  When the destination is reached, however, you stand in awe gasping at the architecture stretching toward the sky. In that moment you’re happy you’ve finally made it.

Much like following a dream, the city is an illusion in the way that dreams are right there, in your line of view, so attainable, yet the journey is yet to be tackled. My sight is not always clear, but I see and feel the outcome of my dreams.  I take the highs with the lows, cherish the things that were hard and those that were blissful, because every piece of my journey has its lessons and its rewards.

I walked the Williamsburg Bridge hoping to capture the skyline on a Saturday night, but much to my dismay, I had to peer through the slats and the grates of the bridge. Ironic, like going after a dream, my vision was clouded by the bridge.  The end result was just beyond what was right in front of me.