Isn’t it wild how much we focus on time?
I loved this waterfall and I thought as I was capturing the moment, how cool would it be to watch it slowly roll backwards. Much like the way human beings reflect on the passage of time. It can overlap in different ways, such as having the ability to look back, but as we do so time is still passing us by.
In the last few days this has been the topic of conversation, mainly with people who were older than me. What I was hearing was in the process of aging fear sets in on how much time was lost, what could have been done in that period and how it went by so quickly. It baffles me how we look at and measure time, because it can be so manipulative. We can manipulate it ourselves. Think about how sometimes when you fall alseep and have some obligation the next day, the time flies by and you feel a little bit robbed. Then also think about how you could be doing some task you don’t necessarily like and the time drags out. We can alter our feelings toward time, we can slow it down, speed it up, we look back, and we look forward. I was getting this message because of my own conflict, but not in the way that I feel like I need to travel the world before I’m thirty. More of the sense that I want to be careful not to fill my time doing things I won’t enjoy or that won’t benfit me. I’m finding that our perception of it projected onto us by society is backwards. I’m pressured to have a 9-5 corporate job in order to be successful and easily pay my bills. It was when I listened to the conversations again in my head I heard what my counterparts were saying. They were telling me not to make the mistakes they had. They want me to grasp onto the present and do everything in my power to fulfill whatever it is that is calling out to me.
When walking in New York City, sky scrapers like The Freedom Tower or The Empire State Building seem like a short distance away but in reality they are miles from where you are standing. And not knowing exactly how to get there you feel like you could almost leap across the city and end up right where you wanted to be. This isn’t possible though, there is a path that must be traveled, and depending on what chaos may be going on, the path could change abruptly and then the journey is longer than you thought it would be. When the destination is reached, however, you stand in awe gasping at the architecture stretching toward the sky. In that moment you’re happy you’ve finally made it.
Much like following a dream, the city is an illusion in the way that dreams are right there, in your line of view, so attainable, yet the journey is yet to be tackled. My sight is not always clear, but I see and feel the outcome of my dreams. I take the highs with the lows, cherish the things that were hard and those that were blissful, because every piece of my journey has its lessons and its rewards.
I walked the Williamsburg Bridge hoping to capture the skyline on a Saturday night, but much to my dismay, I had to peer through the slats and the grates of the bridge. Ironic, like going after a dream, my vision was clouded by the bridge. The end result was just beyond what was right in front of me.
Have you ever woken before the sun without any obligations, and took the time to admire how a day unfolds. The sun gradually illuminates the earth, and everything begins to come out of its slumber. I contemplated going back to sleep, but how many opportunites are there to truly not have anything to do and just capture that moment.
Today was over ninety degrees but something felt different. I know most people mark the beginning of fall with the first of September, however fall doesn’t begin with simply a date. The air is changing and the angle of the sun is different as the earth continues its orbit around it. But looking around me I see apples are ripening on the trees, the last of the summer flowers are in bloom and it won’t be long before they fade away. As I breathe in the smell of this new season I am embracing the change.
On my day off I had this desire to go to the beach. It was incredibly impulsive but I just wanted to do it, so I grabbed a towel, threw on my bikini and drove three hours to the jersey shore. The car ride may seem long to most people but, for me, I love being alone with my thoughts and listening to some good music. It was exactly what I needed and in a time where I have been constantly searching for answers I am beginning to realize the search is pointless and I just need to live my life. The ocean is peaceful yet so intense with the way the waves pound onto the earth. It’s actually quite ironic and that is what I love about it. The sound of the waves, the seagulls calling and the sand beneath my feet brought me back down to earth again. I loved every second and I would do it again.
Transitioning is a significant part of life. I am so young but feel strongly about it since I’ve been through some major transitions in my life so far. This year however, I am going through an even greater transition than anything I have ever experienced before. It was really a pipe dream, something I knew was going to happen but could never understand the reality of it. At this point my focus is to remain happy and peaceful. So many things are changing and unfortunately a little faster than I would like. I feel as if a part of my soul is being removed while I begin to say goodbye to my happy little farm in upstate New York. I love it so deeply and passionately but if I am to keep moving forward this piece will have to be left behind. I have to remind myself that nothing in life is permanent, which is so over-said (is that a word?) but I truly believe it. My life on this earth is not permanent and the same goes for others’ lives, therefore what else could possibly be permanent? We are ever evolving, changing our minds, hopes, fears and desires. Going with my gut and listening to my instincts help me understand this evolution. I may be leaving my little farm now, and I’m not sure exactly when I’m going to say goodbye, but I will always have my horse and someday another happy little farm. For now my journey is really just beginning and I will keep you involved in every step and every epiphany I have along the way.
Today I am another year older and another year wiser. My past has everything to do with me being where I am today and I have just started to see what I want out of life. I often contemplate the many paths I can take and get stuck in my head fanticizing about my future. Every birthday I like to relfect on the previous year to see how far I’ve come. It’s amazing how in such a short amount of time so many things can change. I have had people leave my life and so many more enter it. The ones that have left served their purpose and I learned from those relationships, however, the new ones excite me and have had a large impact on me whether they know it or not. This point in my timeline is significant because I’m starting a brand new chapter. I hope I inspire people as much as they have inspired me, I’m so excited for what my future holds. I hope everyone looks at their birthdays this way, it’s refreshing and empowers me to keep going.